what has the wedding changed

During the last months, I went through so many new stuff, that I do not even remember them all. It started in Easter when Tom (my boyfriend then) had proposed, so I became a fiancée and suddenly my marital status was different and there was the time of the wedding preparation, moving and other super complex issues usually totally new to me. Then there was the wedding. Beautiful day full of joy and friends who came to support our decision to become one – or you may say husband and wife. That day truly many things changed, e.g.  my surname, marital status, weight of the gold on my hand and others.

But it has not ended with the wedding. I mean the changes. Next to all official cards and visits to the offices there is always someone, who is coming home and you can share your joy from each other presence. Many people ask me how is it – to be wife. And I have to admit, I have nothing to complain about after the first month. After all it is so neat not to take care just about myself, clean just for myself, cook all those delectable meals just and only for myself and then also get weight from them alone and well the laundry – finally I do not have to wait several weeks to have enough clothes to fill up the washing machine. And Tom’s gratitude and happiness when he sees my work, that is better than anything. Those are beautiful things. And of course it continues, because we have started to lead one live group in our church and to see the unity in our opinions and the way how we can support and complement each other that I am not even able to describe by words.

I am happy how God cares about us and blesses us in everything. And how would not he, well He loves us and knows what our hearts long for and He gladly surprises us by giving much more than we are even able to think of. Let there be always praise to Him for it!

Where to go?!

I do not know if you remember my entry about me wanting to move to the different place but realizing it is not a good idea becouse I would never be able to settle down and start long term ministry.

I wrote about that about a year ago. It is interesting how many things happend since then: God gave me a boyfriend who proposed and all of the sudden there was a decision where are we supposed to live. In the begginning I had a hard time only thinking about moving from Žilina, what was somehow funny but also it told me a lot about the fact I might have settled a little more than it was good for me. So knew I had to figure out how not to be that kind of girl not willing to move from her town and how to become a woman willing to follow her husband. And I can tell you from the moment I have decided I will go where ever God will call us, I felt much happier and everything seemed easier.

Not long after the engagement we started to talk about our future home. We both knew, we would like to stay in Slovakia, so our question mark was not concerning the whole world but still Slovakia is quite a big place to think of. We both desired not to move just to some perfect place for our jobs and kids and stuff but we longed to be in the place where God wants us to be. That is why we have decided not to know for a while and just pray and seek before God what His will is in all this. It that time it was quite interesting because I was a little surprised how Christians reacted on us just praying not searching for the job etc. 

Nevertheless two months after we started to pray we clearly knew what God´s will for us is, that is to move to Žilina. For me it means to move to the different house and as I wrote in last august that I really want to move somewhere else after this year with four moves I am quite certain I will not have that desire for some time. 

It is so great to see how God cares about us. It is sufficient to let go and rely on Him and He gave us place to go, ministry, jobs and new home. I am looking forward to see what He has prepared next for us. 

New dimension of the noble wife

I can tell you creating the name of the title is sometimes real fun. I wonder, if there exists any process to determin the right name of the entry. I am pretty sure there is something lika that, well we have step by step manual to almost everything. Well now I will tell you why I chose this name for today´s entry.
I went on vacation last week. I spent it... well, probably by traveling is the best description. I visited Tom in Brno, went to the wedding with him in Litomyšl, made a visit in Otrokovice, visited my parents in Rapotín, made some stops in Žilina and most of the time I was at Liptov but we also visited Gemer (i have been told, it is a part of Slovakia where we went :D ). At least I have widen my knowledge about the geography of Slovakia. That can be usefull while I am staying here and I am not expecting any more moving to the different country especially not during the next year. Yes I know, it does not explain the name of the article. Do not worry I will get there. In time. 

One of the other things new for me during this vacation were that I was in charge of all the women´s chores in the house, because Tom´s mom was not at home. I was quite looking forward to that, because it was pleasant change from my little appartment without the proper kitchen. Anyway, I started to realize during the week though I enjoyed all the cooking, cleaning and washing, it is not so easy to do those things well. To organize all the activities the way to make them most effective demands a lot of efford and concentration that I was not used to have before. Sometimes I was even surprised by the to-do lists what apeared in my head. In those moments I started to remember the proverb about the wife with noble character, not that I would have felt any noble but I have never been able to identify with that description. Description they taught us so many times at church. It felt so distant and old fashion or about someone from the village especially farm. But suddenly I realized it is not so different from the regular staff every woman have to do around her house to keep it running.
It is so amazing how God is using common things to teach people about his principles and wisdom. To sum up I am really looking forward to have my own house but I am enlighten that it is not just fun to run your house as I may thought beforet. On the other hand I hope it will always be such a joy as it has been last week.

content

You would not probably believe me but I have been writing this blog entry from the end of February, not knowing how to express things I have been going through and what I have been learning. But I believe today is the day I will finish this and you will be able after a longer time read something new about me.

Content. During the last few months I have been thinking about the meaning of this word/state of being. I am not saying I am somehow discontent, I would say I am content in most areas of my life, nevertheless I am thinking about this attitude of patience. Intuitively I think feeling of discontent is negative so logically feeling of content should be the positive one. But it is always true? Isn´t it possible that long term feeling of content is a trap to the stagnation?

I would say it can be very easily, that is why it is good to clarify, when the feeling of discontent is a good sigh and when the bad one. It is probably not possible to define it generally, anyway I think discontent people are not famous, you do not spend much time with someone who is complaining all the time. On the other hand I do not like people who are always content, then I am telling to myself a little of discontent can move them somewhere further. 

But then there is discontent what I am discovering in myself and it is connected with impatience. I think impatience cannot be ever positive. At least because bible is telling us to be patient. I wonder if really patient person is also content. To me, it would make sense, cause someone who is not forcing himself/herself to be patient but really is, he/she have to be content, just sigh of discontent would mean he/she is impatient. Hmm and I thought I am patient person :D :D

3 minutes are not enough...

I would really like to know, what is the first thing that came to the persons mind reading the headline of this entry. I would probably think of brushing my teeth, reading the bible and then about anything else lasting longer then three minutes. Telling the truth the name and the whole story came to me during my travel for my exam. Because I moved to the different apartment the way to the train station would take me about a hour and after some consideration I prefer to skip this morning walk and just try the public transportation they have here in the town. I was happy I could just buy the cheapist ticket - thank to the "near" location of the train station. Nevertheless the very morning I had so much time I had to make up work to do before leaving for the bus. That is not so hard now when I am not unpacked and still have planty to do but after unpacking the last bag of things I had exactly three minutes for the earlier bus to catch. I did not make it and found out three minutes for puting my shoes on and my jacket is simply not enough. So I had to wait for ten minutes to go by the originally planned bus. While I was waiting there I was thinking about the text I read from my bible that morning. The verse what was popping up from the scripture for the third day had this meaning:

"The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him"

I do not know why I connected this verse with my experience of missing the bus. It was like somehow it reprehended me about my attitude towards God. How many times He is just one part of the day, what is quite sad but also wierd when I realize that from the time I was here as volunteer, what seem like ages ago, I am waking up every moment with the knowledge God is caring and will give me everything I need so I do not have to be affraid. What I am not, but may be I am a little unthankful and just taking it without really appreciating it. What is so bad and sad at the same time. Because the moment I am saving for God every morning that is not enough... it seems I have a new task ahead of me, may be it is new years wish - definetely not a resolution because those are normally not fulfilled - I desire that my heart would be fully committed to God and changed so it would be something normal to be with Him always, not just rely on Him, what is great start but I think it should not be the end of things...

New chalenges from new enviroment

So I have read my last entries and was almost shocked by the gap I have created again! May be it was due to the fact nothing really interesting was happening before  Christmas. I went to my work every day and in the afternoon I worked to be a student or attended/lead the small group. The change came somewhere in the middle of the semester when I have recieved an e-mail informing me I am supposed to move out at the begining of the January. The only problem was I had no idea where I will go, how will I pay the rent and I had no time to solve these things because the exam period was about to start and I needed to pass two exams before the Christmas break. That is why I decided to postpone all the worries for the later time and hope, it will end well. It is true the panic attacks came quite regularly and when the came the only thing I was able to do was calling upon God, telling Him:

" I know, You know about everything and You care about me, so You will solve my situation in the right time, the right way."

And it became reality. After two weeks of uncertainty, studying for the exams and the exams themselves there was that moment when I finally had time to deal with my situation. So I explored the offer for my future apartment and it was quite simple. There were not a lot of places I could afford so it was quite easy to decide. Well I just closed my notebook with the simple: Tomorrow is also a day. The other day I had a great pleasure to experience God’s awesome grace, because the offer with the unseen price and location came to me, so without any past worries I could feel how God loves me and cares about me with the knowledge that He really knows the best, how I am doing and what I can afford. So the first day of the new year I moved to the new flat. I am really curious how it will be there like. I am living with the people I do not know at all what is great opportunity for me to be the light in everything I am doing. So lets experience the new adventure…

God cares

This morning when I woke up one of the first thing I saw was a little fold we had given to our girls last year during the small group. As you can see, it inspired me for the title of this entry. Because it sais: 

Rejoice in God and he will give you what your heart longs for.

That also remind me all I am going through and the fact I did not write here for such a long time anything about me, so lets set it right.

During the last month, I think it was October, I had so many things to figure out. Most likely because my school started and I, as a hardworking student, was learning not just at the school but also at home. We also started small groups again to replace the classical youth group meetings and we also started to have regular evening youth services to have the opportunity to spend time together as a group. Small groups are great thing not just because you have an opportunity to share more deeply about your life but also because you can adjust them to the group needs. The problem sometimes is when people start to have a feeling that we canceled the regular meetings so they have free time instead. Then there is a challenge for the leaders to explain the reality and the rule that you cannot change things acording to everybodies needs. As I have written earlier I am really happy to be part of this ministry and I was looking forward to the fresh start whole summer. Who would say it will take two months. But I believe God blessed us and it tought us a valuablelesseon not just girls but also us as leaders. 

At the same time I have realized, how hard it is sometimes to combine all aspects of my life, when I do not to skip any neither scamp them. Even more when they are not at the same place but at four different places :D

Though I said yesterday that from the human perspective I do not have time to live my life, this morning I was reminded how God cares about me and really if I put Him to the first place and I will rejoice in Him (super abstract but so concrete and inevitable thing) He will give me all that my heart longs for. After all you know me well, I hate sitting at home doing nothing... and I can say with a clear concience, I do not even remember the last time I did that. So I am just looking forward to all interesting things that are prepared for me in the next months...